Supporting a Grieving Person

Stay actively connected, not just available. Don’t ask someone who has lost a loved one to call if they need help. Instead call and tell them that you are going to the grocery store and want their list; or call and tell them you are taking them out to dinner and need to know which night would be best. Don’t give advice, have patience, don’t be surprised by anger, listen more than you talk and follow Joanetta Hendel wise words in her poem below:

​Don’t tell me that you understand
Don’t tell me that you know.
Don’t tell me that I will survive,
How I will surely grow.
Don’t tell me this is just a test,
That I am truly blessed
That I am chosen for this task,
Apart from all the rest.
Don’t come at me with answers
That can only come from me.
Don’t tell me how my grief will pass
That I will soon be free.
Don’t stand in pious judgment
Of the bounds I must untie,
Don’t tell me how to suffer,
And don’t tell me not to cry.
My life is filled with selfishness,
My pain is all I see,
But I need you, I need your love
Unconditionally.
Accept me in my ups and downs
I need someone to share,
Just hold my hand and let me cry,
And say, “My friend, I care.”