If there is a family presence, it is not likely that you will be directly involved with your friend’s death - even though both of you might prefer to be close during this period of time. Many times a family doesn’t understand the nature of your relationship or know how close you have been for how long. Unfortunately friend loss is complicated and yet to be acknowledged by society. If your loss is acknowledged, you most likely will feel the need to inhibit your grief and support the family vs. ask for support yourself.

 

The loss of a friend can impact your life just as much or more than the loss of a full time partner. In fact your friendship may have been the highlight of both of your lives - a vessel within which you shared activities, honest conversations without judgment, and support through difficult times. In essence your relationship was a treasure, the loss of which you will mourn for the rest of your life

 

If you are having a difficult time, contact a grief and loss counselor for one-on-one sessions. Most hospice bereavement departments offer one-on-one sessions for anyone in the community. If there is no hospice counseling available, talk with clergy or a counselor who works with grief. In addition, consider doing something memorable such as planting a tree. There need not be a gathering. You are the only one that needs to honor the memories of a friendship too important to ignore. Suggested Reading: Grieving the Death of a Friend (1996), Harold Ivan Smith.